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Love is...

By Vinitha George

Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra… names that stand out in history for what they have done for the emotion called ‘love'.

What about now? In this fast moving world, does a relationship means just little more than a fling? On the other hand, are there still Romeos and Juliet's who are creating history?

These days, youngsters don't want to get into a serious relationship without knowing their partners very well. It sure is a practical world out there. A far cry, from the one we have lived in. (We, include those who have crossed their two and a half decades in this mother earth).

In Dubai, though many deny it, people do go out with their boy friend and girl friend for movies, for lunch or just for a walk to get to know each other better. Well, knowing each other is the first step to a serious relationship.

These days, macho-film actors, and sexy models influence everyone from young and old. So, it is no wonder that the youngsters of today want their dream girl or guy to be like one of our favourite stars. More over, in a place like this, where there are gals and guys of different colours and shapes ‘available' for your choice, youngsters often head for their infatuations rather than for true love.

So is all teen love just a fling. No, that's not what it seems like. Jasmine, a young girl from India, thinks nothing of sacrificing her individuality for the sake of love. Coming from a not-so-orthodox-Muslim family, she started wearing abaya, because her boy friend wanted her to. Well, it is quiet a thing to do, considering the fact that girls her age are vying with each other to show off their branded attires.

Caroline is yet another bold and the beautiful, who said goodbye to her family, motherland, culture and tradition to marry a man from a foreign country, whom she had met in the cyberspace. So who said true love is history?

Is this kind of commitment the focus of all modern relationships? No, not all relationships are focusing on a commitment. Take Suresh's life, he is a marketing executive, with his own apartment and no family. The availability of women with no commitments and nobody to answer for made him go for a life of instant pleasures. Which, he could not stop from even after his marriage to a village girl from his homeland. Ignorance of the fallacious world outside made the poor girl believe him without any question. How long the façade will go on, is anybody's guess.

Before judging on all lovers, we must know that there are many who want a relationship that would promise them some kind of commitment and honesty. But to find the true love, there is no easy way. It is a game of chance.
And, taking that chance is what most is unsure of. Ashish, a copywriter, hopes for a partner who he can trust and spend time with. His current girlfriend? Well, he is not sure.

A good marriage takes sacrifice, trust, sharing and commitment for a lifetime. Imagine being with the same person, who is sitting there in front of you, in another twenty years of time. If you still have a smile on your face, you can think of committing yourself to the relationship.

A marriage, though, is not a happy-ever-after kind of end to a relationship. For many, the problems begin after saying, “I do”. It is said ‘marriages are made in heaven', but what if we make a hell out of it?

Take for instance, Sarene's life story, she went against her parents wishes and married her childhood sweet heart. She came to Dubai with her husband, looking for a job. Living with her in-laws, she had colourful dreams of the days ahead. She got a job, and then he too. She was in cloud nine. Not for long. Her world crumbled when he lost his job and had to go back. She stayed on. However, he did not want to come back. He did not want to go through the tasking process of finding a job again. Instead, he wanted her to provide him by working. She was ready for anything. But, being taken for granted is not a good feeling. To make matters worse, she was having trouble with her in-laws too. She started having second thoughts. Now, she has moved a divorce case against him. A cherished dream broken to pieces!

There are many other reasons for a break-up, and cheating is one of the main. “It's tempting to see what else is available!” said one “faithful” partner. As someone once said, “It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner” that works out a marriage.

The changing-days may affect our lifestyles, but not the individual need for a sense of belonging. That is what love is all about.

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